Too much? You might be sorry if you got everything you ever wanted for your boat, but wouldn't it be interesting?(See Dangerous page 90)

Good boater's coffee: A two-step test to see if the skipper's coffee is strong enough: 1/ /stick your pencil in the cup 2/ If the pencil stands upright without help, the coffee is now sufficiently potent. At last! (Dangerous, p. 64)

Skipper's pep talk: Unless you go too far, how will you know how far you can truly go? (p. 24 of the Dangerous Book for Boaters).

The Captain The spiritual and intellectual leader of the vessel. Imbued from birth with unfaltering sea sense and unfailing good judgement. A boater of great wisdom, some of which is occasionally dispensed to the grateful crew.

Cocktail time thought Why you should drink beer but NOT drink water: "Fish f**k in it!" (W. C. Fields, p.73 of the Dangerous Book.

Doing the job right? That may get things done, but doing it wrong gives the crew both experience -- and job security. (Dangerous Book page 58)

The captain has a right to demand respect from crewmembers and should show this page around.(Dangerous Book, Page 21)

Skipper's Motto: Youth and skill can be overcome by age and treachery!

While you're navigating, you'll always be surrounded by three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't.

The Skipper's Rationale What is the meaning of true happiness in boats? The answer (page 89, The Dangerous Book for Boaters) is that "...the boat you dream of is actually the boat you have...and what's more, it's paid for."

Nautical rule when the captain has the helm: Little boats get out of the way of big boats! (Dangerous p. 21)

Boater's Coffee, the good stuff: Fill your coffee pot nearly full of water. Add two cups of very strong coffee beans. Add six links of anchor chain. Bring water to boil. When anchor chain floats, coffee is suitable to drink. And is now strong enough for the skipper.

Politically correct answer if your spouse asks you if you've bought some more stuff for your boat: not to speak of.

Mind over Matter Theory: If the captain doesn't mind, it probably doesn't matter. Right? (Dangerous Book page 30)

The Shopper's Code: Vidi, Verdi, Visa (I came, I saw, I used plenty of plastic.) Plastic: Comes in various flavors, such as Visa or Master Card (The really Dangerous Book, p. 86)


Fall layup or storage? Use the downloadable and free fall layup checklist in this updated version of the Boat Log & Record This all - in - one boat record and logbook with engine maintenance record helps a boater to maintain in one place a season -to - season working record of a boat and its needs. It's the largest and most complete boat log and record for amateur boaters ever published. Includes special Emergency section dealing with transmitting a Mayday Message and how to deal with Man overboard. Plus other ways to boat safely and have more fun on the water. Free checklist here for fall layups or storage.
Fiction: A boater gets caught up in a daring around-the-world sailboat race ---and finds murder! "Full of remarkable characters and daring feats."--Cruising World.
Here are masterful tales of seafaring on the world's largest freshwater lake, including the last hours of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Join Marlin Bree in his solo voyages -- including a storm that gives Superior the reputation as being one of the world's most dangerous bodies of water.
A catamaran sails at midnight and is hit by a surprise storm along the Shipwreck coast. At the helm, the author fights for control and he and the crew search for the entryway off the lake. Exciting adventure. In a special chapter, as he sails near the sunken vessel, he takes a new look at the last hours of the Edmund Fitzgerald. If you like rugged adventures and are intrigued by Lake Superior's legends, history and folklore, here's a special book that will fascinate and sometimes surprise you.
Boating, great maritime adventures, storms at sea, maritime tales and survivals
Why did the Edmund Fitzgerald sink? Find yourself in the big freighter's wheelhouse as the Superior storm is at its worst. Or, find yourself aboard a leaky old wooden boat heading out into Lake Superior as an ice storm descends in a race to find a missing friend. Or, dive into murky waters to discover a mysterious old schooner sitting on the bottom still intact. A storm hits! Now come aboard a 10-foot home-built plywood sailboat trying to make it across the stormy South Pacific. Join the author aboard his sailboat trying to survive the storm of the century, with 134 mph. downbursts. Here are seven true tales of maritime adventure and survival from the waters of the world to stir the blood and fire the imagination--all told with a mariner's insight! And more. With illustrations, charts. Now the winner of seven writing awards!
Nonfiction: Excerpts & pix!
Roaring out of nowhere, a huge storm tore onto Lake Superior and catches a lone sailor and his small wooden boat in a wall of wind. Join Marlin Bree in the cockpit of his small sailboat as he fights to save his boat. The author goes on to complete a special voyage along the picturesque north shore of Lake Superior. A classic boating tale. "Equals any oceanic adventure." -- San Diego Log
Fiction: Lots of cartoons & laughs!
Okay, gang: let's face it: our boating world is funny sometimes. It's filled with good hearted people and a lot of other folks ranging from full-of-it skippers and too-party-hardy crew members. Here's a handy book you can keep on the old chart table to let you have a laugh at everything from the marine head to nautical terminology. Not for everyone, but you know who you are. Ho. Ho.
On June 1, 1979, Gerry pointed the bow of his tiny boat east and set sail out of Chesapeake Bay to cross the treacherous North Atlantic. He had hoped he had designed and built the smallest practical-sized sailboat capable of surviving on the open seas -- 10 feet long. Fifty four days later, after battling raging storms, physical pain, loneliness and islolation, sleeplessness and the never-ending racking of the ocean, Gerry pulled into the English port of Falmouth--the smallest craft to make that astonishing ocean crossing.

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The Dangerous Book for Boaters

New boating humor book
offers "Dangerous" Humor

Warning: Contains humor and trace amounts of irony. May not be suitable for all waterfront characters -- and you know who you are

Laugh it up! With 60 whimsical illustrations and cartoons, the Dangerous Book for Boaters develops its boating humor in 15 tongue-in cheek chapters ranging from surviving seasickness to coping with the marine head. veers into unchartered waters with chock-a-block wit and wisdom ranging from "Skipperhood" to dealing with a party-hearty crew who haven't a clue -- and don't really want one. Not overlooked are such ripe subjects for humor as nautical dress codes and marlinspike boat operations -- or lack of them -- and even advice on perfecting the art of romance in a small boat while at sea.
From making sense of salty saying to defining "naviguessing," this all-in-one guide to sail and powerboats will give crusty seadogs and their trusty crews a boatload of laughs. "If everything else fails, you can always do one more thing," author Bree counsels. "You can always laugh."
--Northeren Breezes

Unusual, to say the least> Marlin Bree, author of many wonderful sailing narratives, including Wake of the Green Storm and In the Teeth of the Northeaster has recently published something a bit out of line for his usual work: a book of laughs.Called The Dangerous Book for Boaters: a Humorous Waterfront Guide to the Ways & Wiles of Boaters, it's a 96 page collection of nautical jokes and the kind of sayings you might find on a coffee mug or T-shirt. Meant for sailors and powerboaters alike, it might be just the thing if you need a T-shirt of theme for the next rendezvous.--Good Old Boat

New Classic A good humoed waterfront guide to the ways and wiles of boaters everywhere. From making sense of salty sayings to dealing with a rowdy crew, the compact reference will amuse and enlighten landlubbers and give seadogs many a laugh. Classic illustrations. --Small Craft Advisor

Having a little fun: The Dangerous Book for Boaters -- Veteran boater Marlin Bree, who has written numerous books about sailing Lake Superior, has some fun with this little book, subtitled "A Humorous Waterfront Guide to the Ways & Wiles of Boaters." Under Galley Terms, for instance, he points out that the cook is "the member of the crew who can best be spared from seamman's duties." As for thoughts on eating and drinking on the boat: "You can eat anything you want except that you have to eat it with fat, nude people. Among chapter headings: Do Not Whiz into the Wind, Shipboard Love: Sex & the Small Craft and Abandon All Hope You Who Enter Here. --Mary Ann Grossmann, Pioneer Press (St. Paul)

Campy cruising comedy

Those looking for some offbeat reading to bring aboard this summer should look no further than The Dangerous Book for Boaters ($9.95, Marlor Press, 2009), a collection of fortune-cookie sized bits of boating wisdom by award-winning writer Marlin Bree.

Not for the faint of heart, this book explores the rough and seedy side of boating, covering the downwind rail's importance in cases of mal de mer, successful navigation of the head, and one-finger salutes -- among other topics. The majority of the book, however, is dedicated to the humorous treatment of marine relationships -- captain and crew, crew and captain, captain and boat, boater and other boaters, spouse and spouse, etc.

Marlin Bree is the author of Wake of the Green Storm: A Survivor's Tale, and is the recipient of more than 50 writing and editing awards, including the West Marine Writer's Award.
--Esther Pope, Soundings

Marlin Bree has a new book out and this one is totally different -- 96 pages of nautical humor and cartoons. Where else can you read pithy passages like: I went to the head/​ and nearly fell in./​ Why wasn't the seat down/​ Like it shoulda been? -- Small Craft Advisor magazine

Bree's Breezy Humor Book

Rated 4 out of 5 Stars
There are all sorts of life-jackets designed to keep the needy sailor alive to sail another day. Now Marlin Bree, author of several serious boating books like Wake of the Green Storm and Broken Seas has published a sort of satirical Mae West, titled, The Dangerous Book for Boaters. It gives skippers, crews and family, as well as dockside idlers, the opportunity to laugh at themselves and each other. The author has compiled and illustrated a duffle bag full of nautical sayings, jokes and doggerel largely designed to take the wind out of any skipper's sails -- and those of his crew and passengers as well. Just as lawyers are the best source for attorney jokes, here's an old salt who knows how to toss a nautical line of humor to those in danger of taking themselves too seriously.

Bree's New Book

The Dangerous book for Boaters: This 96-page pocket-sized nautical fun book includes sage tropes like: The navigator who says it cannot be done shouldn't interrupt the navigator who is actually doing it." -- Small Craft Advisor magazine.

Funny Stuff from a Serious Writer

Rated 4 out of 5 Stars

Never judge a book by its title. For instance, Marlin Bree's latest boating book, The Dangerous Book for Boaters, appears to be a misnomer because it is a collection of funny nautical sayings, poems, jokes, drawings and self-deprecating humor. It's that last catgegory that provides the "danger" to boaters, their crews, families and friends.

Only a few of the witticisms are attributed to the likes of former Mississippi river boat captain Mark Twain, the rest (including the cartoon illustrations) are the work of Bree himself or simply the floatsam and jetsam he has salvaged from being around Great Lakes docks, marinas and bars.

Fifteen table of contents categories run the gamut from "heave ho" (which should be self-explanatory), galley gags and sex etiquette to twisted boating philosophy, such as, "Emulate the admirable duct tape -- stick to it and look shiny." In fact, much of the material applies to most any recreational activity. Anyone who has owned or crewed on a boat, or simply observed the boating fraternity first hand, will find something to laugh at, very likely the reader himself. And therein lies the danger.
By Dennis J. Renault " d.Laurent"

The Dangerous Book for Boaters, published by Marlor Press, Inc., offers humor and insights into boating. It now is offered two ways to boaters: First of all, as a printed 6 x 6-inch square of 96 pages with 4-color waterproof cover and black and white inside pages with 60 drawings and cartoons.(Only $9.95) The second offering is as an E-book through's Kindle (Only $3.96) Distributed to the book trade by Independent Publishers Group (IPG), Chicago.